Counting backwards

I think it's been three weeks since I've posted anything on here, a new record of sloth. Let my excuse be that I had nothing to say.

Eight more weeks. I've stopped counting months and am now counting days. In NA we give out key tags for recovery milestones: 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, etc, and naturally we count up. I would like to take key tags as I count down. I'm now past the 60-day mark and am heading toward 30 days. I've got 107 more doses of Ribavirin, seven more shots and one more co-pay. I'm so close I can taste it!

One advantage of slipping into apathy as I have been in the last few weeks is that my temper is more controllable. I'm still pretty grumpy, but I haven't got the energy to throw tantrums anymore so I let most things go. Musically I'm on a steady diet of Sigur Rós and Jack Rose, alternately. Sigur Rós soothe me and keep me calm and Jack Rose puts me in such a state of awe that I forget about being grumpy. His music also wakes me up and energizes me. It puts a smile on my face, which is pretty rare these days. I'm just waiting to feel better. My friend Randi said that she felt better right away after she finished her treatment, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the same will happen for me. I'd really like my voice back. I've been told that it sounds sexy, but it's not my voice. To my ears I sound like Fran Drescher, but my friends assure me that's not what they hear. Phew!

Friday night I went to Muddy Waters with my friend Rebecca to see Langhorne Slim. It was a good show, even though Ariel backed out at the last minute and Rebecca didn't stay for the whole thing. The first band were really good. They were so good, in fact, that Rebecca was sated by the time Langhorne Slim came on. She said, "I was spoiled by that first band. I had no patience with him," but I think it was more that she was just done. I know that feeling. It kept happening to me at All Tomorrow's Parties and was what made me decide that music festivals aren't really a good idea. But Rebecca missed the best part of the evening. I admit that Langhorne Slim's music isn't great, but he really is a good performer. He's much better live than on CD. After he played nearly a whole set with his band, he left the stage area and jumped up on the counter, where he sat and sang and played a little parlor-sized guitar for a few songs. What I love about a small venue like that is that a performer can do that sort of thing and be heard without amplification. The whole place was quiet (except for the drunk girl), and I could hear him perfectly from the back. I left when he rejoined the band on the stage. I'd loved that little intimate interlude so much that I didn't want to spoil the memory of it with overkill.

I've had a busy weekend. Yesterday I drove down to Hollywood with my sponsor Kim and my friend and fellow-sponsee Gina for Unity Day. I'd never been to it before so I didn't know what to expect. I don't like conventions because I get nervous around great crowds of people, so I was rather dreading this event, but it turned out to be pretty small, actually. We saw some really good speakers, but we were late getting back from dinner and were unable to get seats for the main speaker, and though we gamely stood at the back of the auditorium and gave it shot, it was too noisy back there and none of us could hear anything, so we decided to call it a day. I was ready to go by then anyway. I can only take so many speakers in one day. I'm not a big fan of speaker meetings in the first place. To me, they seem like dessert. Where I get fed is in the participation meetings, but these were a bit different because they were called workshops, and each speaker had a topic to share about. In all, it was a good day and I'm glad I went. I plan to go next year if it works out.

I think that's enough for today. I just sat here staring at the screen for ten minutes with nothing in my mind, so obviously I've run out of things to say.